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Sunday, July 06, 2008

I'm back..!

Hey it's the new ME!

Okay, so it's been more than a year since my last post. Maybe I've been too busy. Either that or I was simply fed up having to write how my life sucked.

But that was before. I welcome the new ME, and the re-opening of this blog, with great positive vibes, discoveries of a once in a lifetime love...

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Gaming Psychology

I did a search on the net for articles regarding human behavior towards online gaming, particularly that of MMO's. Here's what i've found.

Source: Wikipedia

"Since the interactions between MMORPG players are real, even if the environments are not, psychologists and sociologists are also able to use MMORPGs as tools for academic research. Sherry Turkle, a clinical psychologist, has conducted interviews with computer users including game-players. Turkle found that many people have expanded their emotional range by exploring the many different roles (including gender identities) that MMORPGs allow a person to explore.

Nick Yee has surveyed more than 35,000 MMORPG players over the past few years, focusing on psychological and sociological aspects of these games. Recent findings included that 15% of players become a guild-leader at one time or another, but most generally find the job tough and thankless; and that players spend a considerable amount of time (often a third of their total time investment) doing things that are directly-related to, but outside of the game itself.

Many players report that the emotions they feel while playing an MMORPG are very strong, to the extent that 8.7% of male and 23.2% of female players in a statistical study have had an online wedding. Other researchers have found that the enjoyment of a game is directly related to the social organization of a game, ranging from brief encounters between players to highly organized play in structured groups.

Richard Bartle has classified multiplayer RPG-players into four primary psychological groups. His classifications were then expanded upon by Erwin Andreasen, who developed the concept into the thirty-question Bartle Test that helps players determine which category they are associated with. With over 200,000 test responses as of 2006, this is perhaps the largest ongoing survey of multiplayer game players."

Really, we've come a long way since the good 'ol Mario days. Gaming is not only for enjoyment or leisure or for any other unprofitable use. It's become a social tool for most...where lives are built and bonds are made. The world is indeed not small, after all...we are. So don't sue us for playing. Don't nag because we grind and grind for 25/8. Don't blame us for the bills. Because if truth be told, we're here to stay. No Game overs. Whether the rest want to or not.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

A Second Chance at Redemption

I've never really had a geniune confession in church before. Not from lack of trying, but I felt i could always reach out to Him wherever I am, whenever I needed to. With that being said, permit me to share one confession with this blog post...

The Lord's Prayer

Forgive me father for I have sinned. Yesterday, while i was reading something on the net, there was a note on it saying I should recite the Lord's Prayer and Three Hail Mary's. To be honest it was a chain letter and although, being the usual skeptimist that I am, normally i would've dismissed it right away. But then again a little prayer wouldn't hurt, eh?

Well apparently, it did, at least on my Christian pride. Halfway through it i just jumbled up the wrong words and often repeating mistakes i shouldnt have made. It's a shame. But it made me realize how neglectful I've been as a Christian. Not attending mass at Sundays...Not even able to recite one decent Hail Mary...

My shortcomings are inexcusable. I have all the time in the world to pray and go to church. Yet here I am.

I used to make promises to Him...that I would visit Him often...only to end up breaking them and adding more to my sins.

So now I make no more promises. But it wouldnt make any difference, dunnit? Im still here, passing on the days to when I would wake up and just forget the only Father that i had.

I'm not proud of myself. I'm not proud of my sins. But the chain letter that brought me to this realization made me think...He still cares much about me that I owe Him one more chance at redemption...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

NBC's new show: Heroes


Heroes is a serial saga about people all over the world discovering that they have superpowers and trying to deal with how this change affects their lives. Some of the superheroes who will be introduced to the viewing audience include Peter Petrelli, an almost 30-year-old male nurse who suspects he might be able to fly, Isaac Mendez, a 28-year-old junkie who has the ability to paint images of the future...

You can check the full story here

Here's my say...

Okay, after months of fruitless waiting for new shows to come out, a thrilling new series from NBC finally arrives on Philippine Television. And it ain't some silly, plotless, and all-for-ratings kind of show. It's all good stuff and it's the best thing thats happened since F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Smallville (the two shows that made me the couch freak that I am now).

If you liked the X-Men series, you'll probably end up liking this even more. It's not a rip-off. I've seen some really lame rips like MutantX (eck, lets not even remotely compare) and all of that cheap ****! This one's got a lot of juice, new stuff (and heroes, you know...special people with special abilities). A lot is going on. A lot of stories and characters to play with. I love the way the stories are plotted all-together and how the connection between each character develops. The actors have all played their part well (you can see the full cast here). Although my personal favorite is Hiro Nakamura, played by Masi Oka, a Japanese guy with probabably the most important gift amongst the heroes. He and his nii-san's comic banters adds more flavour to the series. The inclusion of other ethnicities in the show are phenomenal (it adds to the "global weight" that the show aims to impose). Its a first of its kind and its doing the show so much good.

I watched the first 4 or 5 episodes on TV, but am now watching and downloading advanced episodes on torrent. It's a big file per episode (300MB+) but still its in high-def quality. Yummy. But if you can't watch or download one on the net, you can still catch it on RPN 9, it airs every Sunday at 8.

And one more thing, if you think Clark's developmet as Superman in the series Smallville is painfully slow, well, let's just say heroes here can fly too...

Oh and kudos to Tim Kring for creating such a wonderful make the people at MutantX screw the day they were born!!!

One-man Journey

In a world of several hundred billion people, we sometimes choose to make our journeys alone. When you feel like everything is against you and no one understands your needs. No one cares. And no one will love you the way you wanted to. wish you can just hibernate for a while, the way bears do...and wake up in the spring where the sun shines beautifully and the flowers all bloom warmingly against your eyes.

It gets you holed up in your own head. It confuses. It stains. It hurts that out of the billion people on earth, no one can ever understand you. No one can ever walk with you on your journey. And no one will love you enough to end all the madness inside...

Days will pass. The trees may wither. The seas will ripple...but people will remain what they are...who they are...why they are...and they will never change. Not for you. Not even for themselves.

There will be days where you will meet someone along the journey. She may walk with you for a while. She will talk about her life and her achievements, her excellent career and overwhelming wealth...but once you start talking yourself she just runs away, looking for her next show-and-tell.

Twenty-two miles, and my legs are getting tired from this journey.
The way i see it. I'll be ending it the same way i started it. Alone...

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Wars Come and Go...

New forum for 'Elysium' now up and running. >> Elysium Clan Message Boards

Why we are here...

Saw this post from GM T's blog >> GM Tristan

Heck, I felt all bloggers should answer this.

5 Reasons why I blog:

1. I love writing - only been a writer in a school paper...but i've always been one by heart ever since i read that magical book called Harry Potter. As a writer, it's great that more and more of us are getting out there, with blogging as a new tool.

2. Letting go and sharing new ideas - it's always been my purpose,and im sure all of you feel the same way. shame blogging wasnt invented on Einstein's time, we could've learned a lot more from them.

3. Freedom to express - i used to bottle up frustrations without letting it all off. blogging makes a convenient outlet for it. that's what writer's do dunnit? release it all on writing. then start a fresh leaf. a new fold. Here we can just be ourselves and just let go...

4. Globalization - the world is getting smaller with blogging. people from all corners are getting in touch with others. connecting. sharing. living. that's blogging.

5. Meeting new people - you know how people are closer in the net than they are actually in real life? To be honest, ive found some of my bestest best friends in the net. i also got the chance to meet cool new people. great people actually. down-to-earth.


How I wish there are more of "me" in this world. So many things to do, so little time to do it all. Time just isn't helping matters at all. You feel like your brain's filling up with more and more ideas by the day, it ought to have exploded in an instant. If only I could do a kagebuunshin, or maybe use shunpo to speed things up a bit...I dunno. Ideas are wasting away, and my memory is lagging behind. What must one man do?

I Write....

i write when im angry
i write when im sad
i write when im frustrated, laid down
beneath the ground until all life is drained from me

i write when im alone,
when im held against the wall, drained and gagged,
framed by a solitary ray of light from nowhere

i write when im confused
i write when im down
i write when i feel betrayed, abandoned by whosever guiltless faces that surround me

i write when im hurting
i write when im helpless
i write when i need to,
or have to, like it can't be helped

...for fear of self-imprisonment, self-pity, doubt

i dont want to be a prisoner of my own monster
so this is what i do...

i write it all here, somewhere, anything
writing is the only outlet i have

im scared...scared of what could happen

i write because i fear...

i write...

Paranoia: So now it's a disorder?

Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant. They usually shift blame to other people and tend to carry long grudges.

Symptoms of Paranoid Personality Disorder:
Unwillingness to forgive perceived insults
Excessive sensitivity to setbacks
Distrustfulness and excessive self-reliance
Projection of blame onto others
Consumed by anticipation of betrayal
Combative and tenacious adherence to personal rights
Relentlessly suspicious
Additional Information:

Paranoid personality disorder is difficult to treat, as paranoids are often extremely suspicious of medical professionals. A combination of medication and talk therapy can be effective at combating the more debilitating symptoms of this disorder.

I have it. 50 million other have it. Who knows? Maybe you have it too...

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